Learn to Live Without
by marcasite
Summary: The world shrunk to the space they shared and slowed to a long pause as she waited for him


_Lori thanks for looking over this story. 60 more days…_

* * *

It's so hard not to blame you  
it's hard not to put all the blame on you  
'cause you knew from the start  
there was one little part you would not let through

_Aimee Mann_

She was exhausted.

Three nights in a row with little to no sleep, and she just wanted to go home and sleep. Just sleep. Then she wouldn't have to worry about Grissom leaving, wouldn't have to worry about office politics, wouldn't have to worry about anything.

Because all she did these days was worry.

Letting herself into the townhouse, Sara threw her keys onto the kitchen counter and bumped right into Grissom. She hadn't heard him enter the hallway.

"Oh! I didn't see you." She reached out a hand to his shoulder, gaining her balance.

"Sara, you look tired. Was it bad today?"

She nodded and stared back at him. Slowly she lowered her hand back to her side, waiting.

The world shrunk to the space they shared and slowed to a long pause as she waited for him. Grissom showed no outward sign of emotion; his face remained passive, his eyes unreadable.

"Griss?" Sara lifted a hand toward him, wanting to feel the stubble on his jaw, to run her fingers through his hair. If she could touch him, feel him…he would make her day better.

He clasped his fingers around her wrist and led her to their room, shutting the door behind her. He led the way into the adjoining bathroom, let go of her hand and turned the spigots on in the old-fashioned claw foot tub.

He tested the water with the back of his hand, plugged the drain before he turned to her, cupped her face in his palm and kissed her softly. "Did you sleep at all?"

She sighed, letting go of all the worry, all the doubt. "Hmmm, yes. Several hours today."

He trailed his hands down her arms to her waist and slid his palms under her T-shirt and lifted. "It wasn't enough. You still look tired. Sara, I know you're thinking about what happens next. Stop. This, we, will be fine."

She stared at him wordlessly, still so unsure. The steam from the bath dampened her skin as he dropped the shirt to the floor. Her breasts, confined to her bra ached to be released, touched, kissed…

He unsnapped her jeans, slid them over her hips and then kneeled in front of her. He started to kiss her stomach, slipping her jeans the rest of the way down. She lifted one foot at a time out of the denim, her hands braced on his shoulders.

His mouth chartered a dangerous course to her panties, his tongue moving in lush circles evoking a series of damning tickles and absolutely delicious cravings. "Griss," she whispered, her nails digging half moons into his shoulders. "I want you."

He slid off her panties, stood and slowly turned her. She held up her hair as he unfastened her bra and slid the straps down her arms, his fingers trailing lightly over her skin. Every tiny hair on her arm stood up and quivered. "You're so beautiful, Sara."

Wrapping his arms around her; he cupped her breasts in his palms, lifted as he stroked her nipples with the rough pad of his thumbs.

"I'm tired, excited, and hungry all at the same time." Sara smiled as she leaned her head back against him. He continued the motions of his hands as he leaned down to nibble her shoulder.

She tipped her head back, offering her throat for his hungry mouth to taste. "S'good."

He gently maneuvered her towards the tub, "Relax for awhile."

Sara leaned her head against the porcelain and sighed, the water enveloping her body and soaking away the tension. "Hmm… I might stay in here forever."

His eyes flickered and a smile tugged a dimple. "No, you won't. When you're ready, come to me." He pulled his sweater over his head as he walked out.

* * *

Hair brushed down her back, a fluffy towel secure around her chest, Sara padded barefoot through the bedroom to find Grissom. He stood in the living room window, watching the Nevada sky, light with its colors of neon and gold.

"When are you leaving?" She met his gaze as he turned to stare at her. She moved slowly towards him, the soles of her feet sinking into the carpet.

He started to run his fingers through his hair, "Tomorrow."

_Too soon…_

He turned, leaning against the windowpane. The city twinkled in the backdrop, the stars above shining in all their glory. He would be gone soon, heading east; the night could change everything for them.

Grissom pushed off the window, eyes focusing on Sara. He stepped forward, emptying the space between them and replacing the air with feral want, intent. She backed up, matching his stride until the corner of the wall nipped her back and she splayed her hands on either side of the wall. He touched her mouth with his finger, running it over her lip, obscuring the shape. "My pants."

Sara gave a small smile and unfastened the belt with nimble fingers, slipped the button through the slit and slowly slid the zipper down. She allowed the back of her hand to brush the length of him through the soft cotton.

On a swift intake of air, he yanked the belt free of the loops, his eyes portraying an oceanic turbulence. Again a smile tugged the corner of her mouth at his obvious arousal.

Parting the V of his jeans by sliding her hands on either side of his erection, she slid her palms over his hips, under the band of his underwear, over the arch of his ass. Her body pressed against him, enticing, warm, damp.

A small moan caught in her throat as she slid his pants down, and he pulled her against him, his mouth slanted over hers in a fierce, hungry kiss. He stepped out of his pants, never breaking his hold on Sara. She dug her fingers wildly through his hair, fisting and releasing strands. She teetered, breathless, when the kiss ended.

Grissom turned her so she faced the length of the wall, took her arms and placed each hand solidly against the wall while nudging her legs apart until she stood spread eagle against the wall. Sara could barely breathe as his hands worked up the inside of her thighs to the juncture of her heat and palmed her. Gasping, she tilted her pelvis back, wriggling against his hand. He slid his finger inside her, then another. Sara cried out, bucked against him.

"Grisssss…" The word ended on a hiss. She wanted to reach around to his hips and pull him deep inside. Grissom pressed his fingers deeper and stroked as her nails clawed against the wall and her breasts bounced with the rocking of her body. His fingers continued the exquisite torture and she had to keep from calling. It was there, right there. She could take it, take it, and it would feel so good.

He slid his fingers away and Sara whimpered. So close, so close. He moved against her again, the hair on his chest rubbing her back. He thrust his length into her, entering completely and held taut. "Want more?"

Sara moved against him, her frustration showing. "Yes-"

He eased out until the tip of him nestled between her legs and then drove back into her. She gasped, clenching her muscles to draw him even deeper.

"Tell me what you want, Sara. Anything you want." He withdrew again, this time completely. He slid his length back and forth, driving her mad.

"You, only you. Make love to me, Griss."

He turned her quickly, claiming her mouth in another heated kiss. He walked her backwards toward the couch, whispering. "Love it is."

* * *

The sheets were tangled around Sara when she woke; she wasn't exactly sure when they made it to the bedroom. She stretched and rolled over onto her stomach. Grissom would be gone by now, heading East and for the first time since he told her he was leaving, she felt a sense of peace that they would survive this separation.

She thinks she heard him say he loved her and that was a start.


End file.
